Penniless Acre-less Acres

Penniless Acre-less Acres

Life happens. Our little rented 5 acres is no longer ours. Don’t rent from people you know no matter what they promise. It never works out. So, last August Mr Penniless Acres and I began a desperate search for another place to live. An apartment was not an option for us after having so much of our own space. Not to mention our 80 pound fluffy white dog-child. It doesn’t make sense to me to put weight limits on pets. Do they put weight limits on kids? No. And kids are WAY more destructive than pets. But anyways, I digress.

We found a lovely older mobile home for $5k in Kansas. That included the moving price (so we were told).  When we drove out there to look at it, I thought we were in the wrong house at first. It was so nice for the price. It is older than I am, but the people who owned it had put a lot of work into it. There was this addition built on to the front of it. (More about the addition and the pain in the ass it turned out to be in a moment.) The outside siding was new; the roof was new. This house is going to last another 20 years.

We quickly called the guy who owned it back and met with him to put down a deposit. We found the ad on craigslist, so the whole time we were wondering if he was going to take our money, or just meet us and murder us. You know, there is always that chance. We even snapped a picture of his truck and license plate so we could at least identify him again if we needed to involve the cops. He gave us a Bill of Sale and said the title would be on the way. And that it would be delivered in about 4 weeks. And then we waited.

And we waited. And we waited. We got the name of the house movers and called them. They basically hadn’t even known they were SUPPOSED to move the house. Apparently, the guy, Omar, hadn’t talked to the owner of the moving company when promising us that $5k included delivery.

So now we own a house in Kansas, on someone else’s land. And Omar was less than helpful. So We took things into our own hands. We called around. Found a WONDERFUL guy who was willing to help. Omar put in the $1k he was planning on paying to move it, and we had to pitch in the rest. Which was fine. At that point, we just wanted it done. But then there was the problem of the addition.

This thing was built better than most houses. It was attached to the roof, and built on the ground. We had to completely demolish it before the mover would come out. We spent the weekend tearing it down. And it did take ALLLLL weekend long. We even used the mustang to pull it away from the house. If you recall the white car thought it was a truck – but we put a tow ball on the mustang, and now it REALLY thinks it is a truck.

The guy who was going to move it told us it would be a few more weeks. And then it rained. One of his other jobs got canceled, and we had the house delivered within 4 days. He also broke two toter trucks getting it done. But that is another story. He will probably never more our house again. I think we are bad luck.

We moved it into a campground/mobile home park WAY north of Springfield. The lots for the houses are very large, there is a pond in the back, and it is in the country. We have neighbors again, but it isn’t so bad. I would say we have a half acre lot, at least. Maybe more. We are going to be putting a garden in. We are going to talk the park owners to let us get chickens (fingers crossed). We have a deck to build in the front and back of the house. We have to build a storage shed for all our crap, I mean tools. We have to get gravel delivered for a driveway of sorts for the cars (and the motorcycle that is now almost running). There is plenty to get done on this acre-less farm.

Eventually, we would like to get our own land again, but I don’t think I was ready for 5 acres. Do you know how much brush hogging is required to keep pastures from looking like jungles?

There is plenty of space for us where we are for now. I still have to learn how to grow tomatoes from seeds. I have once again ruined them. I don’t know what the secret is…. But I will figure it out. I did manage to get some green beans started, and if they don’t drown from all the rain, they look like they might be productive this year.

I want to start writing more regularly. We always have some cool project that we are working on. And we always have some kind of adventure while doing it. I learned how to rebuild a motorcycle transmission this spring. Maybe more on that at a later date. 

Spring has Sprung

Spring has Sprung

So, I have basically been hibernating this winter. I got a second job and have been working myself to death since it was cold and I didn't have anything much better to do. I have been working evenings in a little local greasy spoon diner. I love it. Truckers and locals. Nothing fancy, but I like getting to be around people since my office job keeps me pretty isolated.

But now..... SPRING HAS SPRUNG. And I have a spring farming fever bad this year. I spend all of my time either reading about goats and chickens, or dreaming of goats and chickens. My goals this year are for sure to get chickens and a garden. I think goats will have to wait until next year. We will need to fix up a pasture for them because apparently Goat is Latin for Escape Artists.

I wanted ALL THE TOMATOES!

My sis and I started my peppers and tomatoes a few weeks ago. I might be a bit late, but I am hoping it will be okay. My tomatoes are getting tall, which worries me. I read that they might get too tall to quick and not be strong enough. Apparently that is a thing. I am going to get a grow light set up this weekend to keep them growing tall and straight. Hopefully, it's not too late.

Tiny Tiny Tiny peppers starting

I also worry because my peppers have not germinated yet. I only can see the littlest bits of green. I read that they need VERY warm soil to start growing, so I am pretty convinced I need a grow mat thing to get them to start going. We'll see. I'm a worrier what can I say.

You can see the baby Larry

The good news is the tomatoes look great. The bad news is... Sis and I may have gotten a little over zealous in our planting. I got a pack of 72 starter pellet things... and well.. I may or may  not have filled them with tomatoes. It might have happened that way. Good thing I love me some tomatoes. And from what I understand tomatoes are the easiest thing to learn to can. I am going to get my mom and her friend to come out here in the summer to teach me how to can. I am going to make sauces and Italian tomatoes (FOR ITALIAN DISHES), and chili tomatoes (FOR MEXICAN DISHES). Mr. Penniless Acres doesn't understand there is a difference and tries to put rotel in my spaghetti. I am going to make sure they are labeled for their appropriate ethnicity lol. Oh and we are going to make salsa.

And now I have a sad tale to tell. I had a Palm Tree. Don't know what kind. But he is a palm tree. My sister and I got him about 4 years ago, named him Larry, and have been dragging him around ever since. Well, he used to be dragging-around size. This year when we moved to the farm he weight probably 100 pounds and was over 5 ft tall. We left him on the porch accidentally. And well... the Missouri winter did not agree with him. The main tree is dead for sure. But he has been shooting off little green shoots from the base of the trunk, now that it has warmed up.

So today I determined it was time to take the little green shoots and plant them in their own pot so hopefully I can have Larry Two. Plus dead, tall, and brown Larry was taking up a large pot I wanted for the spinach plants. After 30 minutes, a hacksaw, and lots of sweat I have separated two sprouts and root systems from my main dead tree.

Do I know if this was the correct way to propagate a palm tree? No. Do I know if they will live? No. But I am hoping that I got enough roots from the main guy that they will live. We'll see.

Baby Larry in his new home

So after Dead Larry got unceremoniously dumped from his large desirable pot I put in a couple of Spinach plants. I may or may not have started those way too late in the season as well. But the variety I got said they are heat resistant so I am hoping they will do okay. If not I saved half the seed packet to start in the fall also.


So that is the news for now. Now that spring is here I will have lots more to report and write about. And once we get chickens... oh Lord... pray for me now. They only kind of freak me out.

Oh and I bought peppermint to keep the ants away from our kitchen. And got another Aloe plant, since the last one met it's demise with Dead Larry this winter. The only plant I managed to winter this year was my Lemon Tree. I am going to name him Stewball. If you know the connection between Lemon Tree and Stewball. You are as weird as I am. I blame my Mom.

Holiday Season

Holiday Season

The past few months have gone by so quickly. We finished our living room walls finally. Mostly. We are about a pallet shy of being done completely. I love it. The wood makes it look so warm and cozy and inviting. We put up the Christmas tree and lights, and the living room just glows with Christmas spirit.

I had a really good Thanksgiving this year. We had turkey with his mom and family, and then we smoked our own that weekend. Well Paul smoked it. Well the smoker smoked it and I watched over it while Paul worked. But anyways. It was delicious. I am however, just about sick of turkey. I am so over it. I can’t wait till Christmas and we get a chance to eat ham for a change.

Our “barn” kitties have turned into “porch” kitties. They basically sit on the porch and try to get into our house all day. I am hoping they will grow out of it. We have to lock them in the barn tack room at night so they don’t freeze to death. They are that dumb. They have adorable winter coats coming in, they are so fluffy and fat. All they do it eat. We only feed them in the barn, so they follow us to the barn, eat, and then come right back to the porch. UHG.

We discovered that the one is a pretty good mouser. We accidentally caught a mouse in our nearly empty dog food tub. So we took it outside to see if the cats would be worth anything. Tux (the black and white little boy) grabbed it up and took off with it. I was impressed.

I am hoping they will grow out of the porch thing once they get bigger and braver about exploring the rest of the farm.

Our dog in her nightly spot. As soon as he gets home she is on the
back of the couch on his shoulder. 

I planted my garlic earlier in November. I needed to put it on the south side of my house, and we don’t have flower beds on that side, and the yard is just tough grass, and I don’t have a tiller available to me just yet. So what did I do…. Another trusty pallet to the rescue. I laid a tarp under the pallet. Filled it with dirt, and planted my garlic in between the wood slats. I really have no idea if this is going to work or if it will come up in the spring. We’ll see.

This is actually been the best holiday
season for me.
But this made me laugh

I remember when my family first moved to Oklahoma, we moved onto my great Aunt’s farm. She had garlic in the flower beds. She showed us how to can it that summer. Our house smelled like garlic all summer. But kept the mosquitos down I think. 

All in all I am in love with the new house. The propane heater keeps the living room toasty in the evenings, and the electric heat keeps the bedroom suffocatingly (hows's that for a scrabble word mom?) hot at night (working on a fix for that). The drive to work is only about 15 minutes longer, but it doesn't really take that much more gas. We are looking to get a 4 wheel drive vehicle for the snow and to use around the farm. This winter we are just going to have to risk it. I'm hoping for a good blizzard so I can stay home a few days. 

Even better than I pictured

Even better than I pictured

You ever have those ideas that seem kind of crazy, and people doubt you, and then you start to think it might be a really crazy idea, and you start to doubt yourself? Well, I have gone through this whole process with my living room walls. Before we even moved in, about a month ago, I decided I wanted to do a wainscoting of pallets on the bottom half of my living room walls. Pallets are free, I love the rustic look of them, and it would be so much less boring than painting my living room. In that month I have doubted it several times. I have tried to come up with fancier ideas (fancier = money we don’t have to waste). I decided cedar planks would be so much more amazing, and my lowly pallets wouldn’t cut it.

Looks gross huh

Luckily Paul kept me on track. He didn’t doubt me once. He tracked down pallets (remember when he tied them on top of Wonder Car?) and last weekend we had finally collected enough to start on a few walls. The only thing he worried about, was the old ones were cool, but a lot of the wood falls apart when you start sawing at them. They are much more fragile. And the new wood, was easier to work with, but didn’t have the same charm. Luckily I had the solution. I had found the recipe for aging wood on Pintrest, but pintrest has let me down before, so I was doubtful. But we forged ahead anyway. 

You can see them darkening here.
Ones on the left are just done, one
on the right haven't been yet

The recipe I found called for Apple Cider Vinegar, steel wool and a bucket. Let the steel wool soak in the vinegar for a while (I went with overnight). I started putting the mixture on the next day, but it didn’t seem to be aging the wood. I was worried I had messed up, so I got back online. I found a different recipe where they first rubbed coffee or tea on the wood, let it dry, and then applied the vinegar. I’m not that patient, so I dumped coffee grounds into my mixture, and applied again.

 

This is the same pallet as before
Just an hour later. 

Can I just say I am SO IMPRESSED? It worked. My new pine looking pallets, were darkening before my very eyes. And after they dried the smell of vinegar was completely gone. Paul then took the sawzall to them and began cutting the nails to separate the planks. There is a trick to this as well. The saw will cut through the nails easy enough, but it kills the battery MUCH faster if it has to saw through any wood. (Yes a corded sawzall is on our Christmas list). So we took a hammer, and banged on the back of the planks a bit to loosen them. Not too hard, but enough to separate the wood from each other. Then the saw can get in there and slice through the nails.

We have quite the system going now, and I can’t wait to get the rest of the walls finished. We finished one full wall this weekend, and the rest will go up easy enough now that we have a system and an unlimited free supply of pallets (I talked to my maintenance guy at work. They just throw theirs away, and get a ton each month).

See how dark they ended up.
And yes I helped. 

My walls are AMAZING. They turned out so much better than I expected. Mom was worried about my living room being too beige. But the aged pallet wood adds so much warmth. I love it. I told Paul when all our friends see it, they will want it in their house. We will have to charge money to do it, because while it is amazing, it is labor intensive. Which makes it so much better. We are fitting each piece together exactly where it fits best. We have picked out each crooked piece and fit them together with love. So much better than cookie cutter box store wainscoting. 

There is our cute wood stove too. 

We also built a pantry this weekend. I had one from a pallet Paul had made me about a year ago, and we came across one that was the same size for a second one. Add a few shelves, and they are perfect for holding cans. I think we should go into business building these kinds of things. Or maybe I am the only one obsessed. I don’t know. 

My two favorite men

My two favorite men

Ta Da. Super cheap, functional, doggie door

I am spoiled, apparently. My mom pointed this out a few weekends ago. Let me explain. For pretty much my entire life, mom, my sister, and I have been coming up with crazy projects that we need my dad’s help with. From moving furniture to fixing cars. My dad has always found a way to make it happen. 

Once Sis and I lived 4 hours from my parents. Alone in a town, just the two of us. It snowed FEET and sis called mom complaining we were woefully unprepared. We had run out of junk food. Dad called his co-worker who was in town, who had a truck, and asked him to deliver goodies to our house. Even from 4 hours away he saved the day. Once when I had a flat tire on the side of a highway 3 hours from home. Dad called the highway patrol to come change it for me. No matter how crazy, or how impossible it seems, he just always finds a way to take care of us. 

My sister and I have absolute faith that our daddy hung the moon, and he can do anything. And after 26 years, we have yet to be proven wrong. 

 I have put this to the test several times over the past few weeks. Each idea for the house has just been done. My dad, with Paul’s help, have just somehow made it work. As they patiently listen to us explain our ideas, giving us the look that says no way this is going to work, and then working away at it until it happens.

I explain all of this, because the next man in my life (Paul) had very big shoes to fill. I am spoiled. My sister’s future husband, poor guy, will have to be near superhuman. And so far, Paul has done pretty well. Each idea I have come up with, he just does it, and somehow makes it work. Do you know how CRAZY I was to send him after carpet in a grand prix? Last week I explained that to save money I didn’t want to buy a $100 prefab doggie door. I explained to him we could make one. And he gave me this look as I explained how we would cut a hole in our door, screw an auto mat to each side. Seal the insides with weather trim. I mean, it said on pintrest it could be done, so I believed he would just figure it out.

Can I have my cookie now? 

Penny took a little
 more coaxing.
But she got it.

And once again, I have been proven right. It has been proven that my Paul can also do anything. Yesterday, in desperation with our fly problem (caused by leaving the back door open for the dogs) he installed my homemade doggie door. Took maybe a half hour. We still need to get the weather stripping to make the hole in our door air tight against the cold (“Winter is coming”). But I think it is AMAZING. And it only took one dog cookie to convince the dogs it is AMAZING.

So Dad, thank you for never letting me down. Even if my ideas were only half thought out. Thank you for driving 8 hours nearly every weekend to help us. Thank you for coming out this weekend to put my carpet down, even though your back hurts and you will be supervising as Paul and I crawl around on the floor this time. 

And Paul, thank you for taking care of me these days, when my dad is too far away to rescue me. 

My two favorite guys. 

Snakes, Spiders and Flies, Oh my!

Snakes, Spiders and Flies, Oh my!

See those black spots.... Flies. All of them. Everywhere.
And see the UGLY kitchen wallpaper. It is on the list to get rid of
It's also in the bedroom. UHG. 

I have forgotten how many bugs are in the country. And I feel like this place has double its share. The grass and weeds were halfway up the side of the house, so the bugs had plenty of room to take over. The house is swarming with flies. We finally got screens up for when we open the windows on the warm afternoons. But we still haven’t gotten the doggie door put in for my dogs. So we have been leaving the back door open for them to come and go outside as they please. Unfortunately, this has been letting the flies in and out as well. Well mostly in. I don’t think any are leaving. Paul walks around at night and swats them with a kitchen towel. Why not get a fly swatter you ask? Because the local dollar store is sold out, and if I go into Wal-mart for just a fly swatter, I will come out with $50 of other unneeded stuff. 

Apparently there was an incident with a dog sized spider the other day while I was at work. Penny tried to grab the very large “tarantula” scurrying across the floor. Paul grabbed her away, got the spider killing spray, and apparently the spider proceeded to laugh at him, grab the spray can, and carry it away under the stove. Apparently. I wasn’t there to witness said incident, but that is how Paul tells it. I am just lucky he didn’t get the 12 gauge out and blast it away. So there may or may not be a mutant size spider lurking in my house. (That’s right Mom. I hope you sleep easy this weekend while you are staying with me).

Let's play spot the snake lol. Can you pick it out? 

That just leaves the snakes. We found the very large, and very fresh snake skin in our barn about a week before we moved in. Paul assured me the snakes would leave when it got cold. We finally decided it was cold enough, I moved the kittens out to the tack room in the barn so they can get used to being outside. And yesterday we found big and nasty’s baby in our flower beds. EWWWWWW. Paul promises it wasn’t poisonous, but his “snake expertise” is losing credibility with me… fast. We didn’t kill it. We are hoping it will eat some of the very poisonous spiders that hang out there as well. Brown Recluses. They are ALL over outside.

So confession. I am very much against the use of pesticides and poison in and around the house. I know how bad it is for the environment and people. With that being said. I also know how bad carpenter ants (they have been eating the walls of the house, or so my dad says) and brown recluses are for our health as well. The landlord is scheduling a bug guy to come spray the outside of the house. The winter will help kill off some of the bugs. And then we’ll have chickens in the spring. But I would like a mostly bug free house someday.

The kittens are adjusting to barn life VERY well. They are racing around the closed in tack room as I type. I will leave them shut in and safe for a few weeks. I want to make sure they know this is home.

Other updates. My bathroom is about near finished. Living room carpet goes in this weekend. Wood stove goes in, eventually. And yeah. Lots to do, lots done. I am sealing a roof with tar this afternoon. Or at least making sure Paul doesn’t fall off the ladder. Or at least driving him to the hospital if he does. I’ll let you know how that goes. 

Not sure if the picture is crooked or the floor. It does kind of slant
on that end of the house. 

Wonder Car

Wonder Car

It is a well realized fact in out here, that we need a truck. There are just too many things to do that require more space than either of our cars have. We need a truck before I can start getting chickens or goats, we need a truck to just finish this remodel. We need a truck to haul away all of the junk and trash in our barn.

Other truck jobs the Wonder Car has done this month

With that being said, our little Grand Prix has had quite the adventure the past few months. I have nicknamed it Wonder Car. It started out as my sister’s car. And she always claimed it was part jeep, off-roading, taking on mailboxes, and running down turkeys in the broad daylight. It made no sense for her to take it to Japan with her, so we bought it from her. Speaking of which I think I still owe her a payment or two, oops. (We are cool about loaning, borrowing, and/or paying back money in my family).

It started yesterday, when I saw an ad for free carpet. It came from a pet free very nice house, was the PERFECT size for my living room, right color, and did I mention FREE. I called Paul and immediately begged him to go check it out. The people had thrown it in their driveway and left for work. It was first come, first get it.

So he zoomed down the road trying to beat whoever else may have seen this ad. He called to borrow a truck on the way, but no luck. So he gets to this house, and there is this enormous pile of carpet in front of this guys house. It wasn’t even rolled. He stretched it out and had a 17 by 20 foot piece of carpet. And 10 feet of space from dashboard to trunk in the Wonder Car.  

I wish I had been a fly on the wall to see how he loaded up this carpet. Apparently he folded it in half, rolled it, shoved it, jacked it up with a car jack to keep it from folding, bungie tied it, backed it into a house to push it further in, got on his back and pushed with his arms and legs and got run burn all up and down his arms. It took him an HOUR to load this carpet, all by himself. The roll was so big he couldn’t get his arms around it. It was so heavy that when I helped him unload it, I am convinced he must have super strength. I have no clue how he actually managed it.

We offloaded it into our covered utility trailer in the front yard. I have NO clue how we are going to get it in the house. I think it weighs a couple hundred pounds at least. But the point is, I have free carpet. It’s nice. And totally worth it (well I think it is worth is. Paul may have a different opinion). And our Wonder Car handled it like a champ. 

On a side note, Penny and I are over living in a construction zone. It will be another week before Dad can come back and help us install the carpet. And there are so many tools. And stuff. Everywhere. No clue where we put all of this stuff in the apartment. It just doesn't seem to fit in this house right now.